Why Kids Struggle to Verbalize Emotions (and How You Can Help)

Children experience big feelings every day—joy, anger, worry, excitement, frustration—but putting those emotions into words is often harder than it seems. As adults, we sometimes expect kids to “use their words,” but the truth is many children simply don’t have the skills yet.

Understanding why kids struggle to verbalize emotions helps us respond with patience, empathy, and effective strategies.

Why It’s Hard for Kids to Express Feelings

1. Brain Development
The part of the brain that controls emotions develops earlier than the part that manages language. This means kids often feel something strongly before they have the words to explain it.

2. Limited Emotional Vocabulary
Young children may only know a handful of feeling words... “mad,” “happy,” or “sad.” Without words like “worried,” “disappointed,” or “confused,” it’s tough to express what’s really going on.

3. Overwhelm
Strong emotions can feel so big that children shut down, cry, or act out instead of talking. Their nervous system is overloaded, and language takes a back seat.

4. Fear of Being Misunderstood
Kids may hesitate to share because they’re unsure if adults will understand or accept their feelings. This can be especially true if they’ve been told to “stop crying” or “calm down” in the past.

How Parents and Educators Can Help

1. Create Safe Spaces for Expression
Encourage drawing, storytelling, pretend play, or journaling. These outlets allow kids to communicate feelings in nonverbal ways, giving you insight into their inner world.

2. Model Emotional Language
Use words to describe your own emotions. For example: “I feel frustrated because the traffic was heavy, but I’m taking a deep breath to calm down.” Kids learn by example.

3. Expand Their Vocabulary
Introduce new feeling words during everyday moments:

• “You look disappointed the game ended.”

• “It seems like you’re excited to see your friend.”

4. Validate, Don’t Fix
Instead of jumping in with solutions, start by listening and acknowledging: “That sounds really tough. Thank you for telling me.” This builds trust and helps kids feel safe sharing more.

5. Teach Coping Strategies
Pair emotional awareness with simple tools like deep breathing, stretching, or taking a break. When kids know how to calm their bodies, words come easier.

Conclusion: 

Struggling to verbalize emotions is a normal part of childhood. By offering patience, modeling healthy expression, and creating safe outlets, parents and educators can guide children toward stronger emotional skills. Over time, these small efforts help kids build confidence, resilience, and the ability to share what’s truly in their hearts.